but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
