Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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