But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
