so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
