Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
