You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
