Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
