I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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