carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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