And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
