I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
