This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
