Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize