I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
