her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
