Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
