maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
