How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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