a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
