i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
