You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
