I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
