what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
