Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
