White coat. Heels.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
