we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
