My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
