Sponge bath it is.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
