Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
