You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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