i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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