I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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