oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
