Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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