brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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