All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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