I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
