I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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