How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
