Don't you send me to vm
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
