Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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