He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
