shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
