I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Someone signed my nipple.
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