Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
