At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it glows. i had to have it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
