there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
is that a dick in a sweater?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
