How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
