What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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