This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
