awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
