whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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