I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
