where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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