i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
