so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
