He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
