I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Sponge bath it is.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
