I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
