Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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