in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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